The Reality of "Milton Keynes"

Tuesday 19 September

Dave arranged for a private minibus to take us round the island for six hours today, so we were all ready and waiting in the Reception at Smile by 12.00 noon. Today was another hazy, but very warm day, and when the bus arrived we were glad of the air conditioning. There was a bit of confusion as to whether the bus was for us or not – it arrived exactly at midday – too much of a coincidence not to be ours – but the driver, even being shown the booking slip, was not sure – he thought he was going on a formal Round-The-Island tour, not the random exploration we had planned. But eventually, with the help of one of the receptionists, he agreed he was our driver.

We set off towards Chaweng and the Imperial Hotel (stopping at our favourite garage on the way – the driver only put in 300 bahts worth of petrol – why had we put 400 bahts in the little jeep? – pointing out the sites to Jean and Ray. We stopped at the Cliff View Restaurant for some Singhas, where the view across the bay to Chaweng Beach from this high point is beautiful. But below the restaurant, at the base of the cliff, they are building a new complex of villas, with a pool, and what looked like some sort of Club House, near to the rocks at the edge of the beach. There was nothing here last year except vertical cliff face and shrubs. The villas looked very nice – if very huddled together and “friendly”. But I am sure Coral Cove will be a delightful spot to stay, even if all the roads around are up and down steep hills. We drove on through Lamai and past Rocky’s Restaurant (supposedly the best on the island, according to one of the free magazines), but didn’t take the obvious south coast route along the 4170. When our young driver did turn off the road, we were headed to one of the inland areas of waterfalls. No, no, no – not where we wanted to go! He was definitely a bit perplexed that we wanted to visit Thong Krut - but with a few directions from Dave, we finally arrived at The Plot – soon to be renamed Milton Keynes! As they had described to us yesterday, there were two other houses under construction around them – one a huge three sided, two storey house, with large pools and several of gazebo type buildings both back and front. This was all still in a shell-like state – but even so valued at 1million GBP. The other house, directly behind The Plot, was nearer completion – another two storey building but much smaller with the pool and garden still to be formulated. There was another plot of land going full length in between, which had not been developed at all.

The Plot was a large grassy area with some shrubs, edged on the fourth side by coconut palms and shrubs (first side beach, second side plot not yet developed, third smaller house). The land ran right on to the beach – a wide sweeping arc of white sand with shells and remnants of coral. Today the tide was well out, and we wandered in the shallow waters for a long way and were still only up to our ankles. Far out we could see men fishing with their distinctive Thai conical hats, still only knee-deep in the water, while others were collecting mussels and clams from the shallows, putting them in panniers on their backs. It reminded us of the “cockle pickers” at Morcambe Bay. In the distance were a range of islands, the closest, quite large, covered by green trees (probably palms) with a small sandy beach, others far in the distance looked blue and hazy in the afternoon sun – we thought of the peaked ‘karst’ scenery of Yangshuo – this was similar, but more rounded – but just as ethereal – it could easily be Camelot or Avalon. To wake up each morning to this view would be like heaven.

We drove a hundred yards or so up the road – although could just as easily walked along the beach – to the café where Juz and Dave had coffee yesterday, and had shakes and a few nibbles of wantons, dim sum, calarmari and vegetable spring rolls, whilst discussing the wisdom of purchasing a plot here by the beach. The main question is that of the rights of the house behind The Plot, but Dave will be speaking to the lawyer before negotiations are continued to confirm that there is no right of view. The owners of the café were very friendly and before we left Mrs Noi had promised to help Juz learn to speak Thai and cook perfect wantons when they were in residence.

Whilst the rest of us were languishing over lunch, Juz and Dave (and the driver) wandered up the beach to take pictures of their land and were invited to take a tour of the million pound house. The views from the first floor were amazing and gave yet another view of the palace they could build for themselves. I had another paddle in the sea – the sand is dotted with small black specks that are apparently minute clams – and saw lots of very small shrimps and crabs running sideways to find holes in the sand.

We had to tear ourselves away at last, and made for Nathon, to collect Dave’s shoes. They fitted perfectly now and just needed a final polish – ready in half a hour. We again wandered the town – Colin is now no more enamoured with this town than on his previous visits - had another round drinks – soft this time – collected the shoes and eventually met up again with our driver along the harbour road. The journey back to the Bandara (to drop off the shopping) and onwards to Chaweng was like London at its busiest, bearing in mind that most of the road is only one lane either way, but nose to tail, with motorbikes weaving to overtake at fast speeds on either side, each with anything up to five people aboard. It was therefore almost 19.00 by the time we arrived in Chaweng – an hour over our allotted time, but worth the extra 300 bahts.

We strolled around the market stalls and along the pavements window shopping. Walking up further into town, we came across a shop offering foot massages which sounded divine, so we three girls immediately dived in and settled in padded executive style chairs. We enjoyed having our feet, lower legs and toes massaged, pulled and flicked in an effort to unwind and refresh our aching limbs. After about 45 minutes, the masseurs moved on to arms and head, neck, shoulders and back, for another 15 minutes to give us an all round feeling of relaxation. It worked and for 250 bahts each plus tips it was an hour well spent.

We met the men in Tropical Murphys, eying up all the ex-pats with their Thai wives and girlfriends – its amazing just how many there are out here, especially in Chaweng. After more Singhas, it was soon time to decide on where to eat. We had seen a “Schnitzel” restaurant on our previous visit, next to “Chilli” – it had lots of fresh fish on display at the front, as well as offering a wide selection of European and Thai food. The waiters (with a bit of persuasion- a lady was just leaving her table) put together three small tables to accommodate the six of us and we were soon partaking of drinks and perusing the menus – all except Colin. We all chose Blue Hawaiis to drink (very different from those in Bophut, quite sour in fact, but very refreshing), except Colin who chose a Whiskey Sour. Ours all arrived, but it wasn’t until another ten minutes or so that Colin’s drink arrived – a B52 – not a Whiskey Sour. The waiter took it back, but returned after consultation with the barman to say that they weren’t sure exactly what components made a Whiskey Sour – evn though it was on the menu. To ease the consternation, Colin chose a Singapore Sling, which then arrived promptly.

Our table was right behind the fresh fish stall at the front of the shop. Lobsters, tiger prawns, squid, oysters, mussels, sole, red and white snapper and two different types of crab were all displayed on ice. I decided to try some fresh fish and chose one large squid (about eight inches long) and two large tiger prawns (at least six inches long) to be barbequed with fries – total cost 300 bahts (just over 4 GBP). Others selected their dishes - we all had fish except Dave who stuck with a Thai curry and noodles. When the food arrived, I was also given a cruet of three sauces – tartare, garlic butter and chilli and coriander (hot). The squid was exquisite – not the chewy round circles we are more used to, but firm, melt in the mouth food, which when dunked in the sauces was absolutely scrummy – I shall be trying more of this before we leave. The tiger prawns were delicious too, but slightly disappointing alongside the squid. Fresh pineapple and watermelon were automatically served as a desert along with ice cold hand towels as a refresher. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed their meal and it is on the list as worthy of a return visit.

We hailed a tut-tut to return to Smile via the Bandara. We were all feeling tired after quite a hectic day from those we have recently been used to, so could not face a nightcap tonight. We all said goodnight and retired to our beds. We were very surprised to have visited Chaweng without seeing any rain!!! There’s a first time for everything.

We switched on the television, just to catch up on the latest happenings around the world, and were immediately plunged into a newsflash of a military coup in Thailand! Reports were still emerging as to what exactly was happening, but there were lots of pictures of soldiers in tanks on the streets of Bangkok. The current Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, has been unpopular for some time. There hasn’t been an elected government since he disbanded parliament in April when he was accused of corruption, by allowing his family to benefit from a national communications deal, at the same time as the results of the election victory were very dubious. He had also offended some people by promising to promote his supporters to high office. There had been several alleged threats to his life and he was under strict security guard at all times. He is currently attending the meeting of the United Nations in New York, so out of the country, but declared a State of Emergency from the safety of America. We await to see what has developed by the time we wake up tomorrow morning.

While we were cogitating over the state of the nation, Ray and Jean had a midnight swim!